


National Snuggle a Bunny Day

by svtsail



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svtsail/pseuds/svtsail
Summary: Seokmin learns that there's nothing worse (better?) than being Hong Jisoo's fake boyfriend.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 95





	National Snuggle a Bunny Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take of a Seoksoo AU in a Detective Conan world since I just love Kaito x Shinichi as a couple so this is Jisoo as Shinichi and Seokmin as Kaito. Enjoy reading and if you want you can always hit me up on Twitter @svtlayag.

"I have a proposal – I mean, a proposition," Jisoo began, wincing so hard Seokmin wondered if he'd hurt something.

Coughing, he emptied another packet of sweetener into his coffee, which was beginning to resemble a cup of sugar rather than anything approaching a liquid. There was a small mountain of empty wrappers at Jisoo's elbow, threatening to fall every time he flinched, which was an event that was occurring with alarming frequency.

"Yes," Seokmin prompted when Jisoo's face began twitching in _unseemly_ places. He took a sip of his milk tea and waited. For all his detective prowess and general attractiveness, Jisoo occasionally demonstrated a slight lack of social graces that Seokmin generally found marginally more endearing than he did irritating.

"I," Jisoo began, and then made a choked sound and buried his face in his hands, muttering something too fast for Seokmin to catch. Seokmin leaned forward, tilting his ear towards him.

"What?"

As sunlight from the window illuminated his profile, Jisoo melodramatically lifted his face – between the two of them, Seokmin was supposed to be the showman, but even he couldn't manage the tragic Byronic antiheroic air Seokmin could manage to exude from every one of his marvelously tiny pores – before he mechanically said, frowning hard enough that Seokmin half-expected his face to crack down the middle, "I – I may have told my mom that we're dating  because she was bothering me, and now she's coming to visit soon, so I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend until she leaves."

Seokmin experienced about forty-eight different emotions within the span of two seconds, emotions that ranged from _um, what the hell_ to _um, what the hell_.

"Uh," he managed around the fist that had begun to strangle his vocal chords. "Um, why did you pick me, hyung?"

Jisoo was making an incredible impression of a statue that had died of awkwardness. "There wasn't exactly a surplus of options."

"But you couldn't just – pick someone else?" Seokmin demanded, waving his arms a little crazily. He probably looked moderately deranged, which he only realized after a waiter who had been coming towards them immediately changed course and delivered their chocolate pastries to a bewildered girl sitting two tables away. Jisoo glared, silent and unhelpful.

"Jeonghan wouldn't want to," he mumbled gruffly, and Seokmin suddenly recalled the fact that the two of them had _dated_ for nearly two years back when they'd all been seventeen and stupid, and the whole thing had culminated in a breakup with the destructive force of an atomic bomb. 

"Soonyoung and Jihoon are engaged, Seungcheol's planning on asking Jeonghan out, and Mingyu and Wonwoo are seriously dating. I don't think any of them would be willing to do it."

Jisoo donned the kind of steely expression one wore while marching out to war and expecting to die in some gruesome and bloody manner. "You're the only one left who I can ask."

"That's really flattering," Seokmin remarked. "Nice to know I'm your _last_ choice."

Jisoo looked at him askance. "You just asked me why I didn't ask someone else."

Seokmin ignored him in favor of primly taking a sip of his tea. "What do I get out of this?" he demanded once he had set the cup back down with a delicate clink. "I, uh, definitely can't imagine anything that would make me want to be your,” he stumbled over the words a little, "fake boyfriend."  _ Your real boyfriend _ , on the other hand, he thought and then squashed the thought.

Closing his eyes, Jisoo said, sounding as if every syllable physically pained him, "I'll go out in public wearing an 'I LOVE DK' t-shirt. Specifically, this one." 

Clearly gritting his teeth, he reached into his pocket and extracted his phone, sliding it across the table to show Seokmin a picture of a t-shirt that did indeed read 'I LOVE DK' across the chest in bubbly lettering. It was in the color of neon pink and there were even hearts involved. Seokmin looked at him in silence, clearly delighted on the idea.

"Soonyoung bought it for me for my last birthday," Jisoo informed him. His jaw creaked with every word. If Seokmin hadn't been so thrilled, he would've wondered if his Jisoo-hyung was going to break his molars with how hard he was grinding his teeth. As it were, Seokmin was too busy planning how many pictures he was going to take and what strategic websites he would post them to. He was thinking of sending it to as many news sites as possible.

"And you won't cover it up with a jacket or anything," Seokmin confirmed. Jisoo looked a bit as if someone had stabbed him in the side and then twisted the knife several times.

"I won't."

"And you'll wear it for at least four consecutive hours. Outdoors. At times when there are people around, not, like, at one in the morning."

"Okay. Yes." Jisoo was starting to look a little crazy around the eyes.

"In that case, Hong Jisoo, I would be delighted to be your _fake_ boyfriend," Seokmin beamed, and Jisoo shut his eyes and slid down overdramatically in his seat like a man who'd just signed his own death warrant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See, the thing about Hong Jisoo was that Seokmin just didn't know how to treat him. He had masks tailored to everyone's expectations – for example, he was a loveable asshole for Wonwoo, a straight-up asshole sometimes for Seungkwan, and a charming gentleman for virtually everyone else – but Seokmin never got a good enough read on Jisoo that he knew just  how to act around him. 

Being charming earned him a dead-eyed stare; acting like an asshole got him a cutting  remark and his phone wallpaper inexplicably turning into a picture of a dead puppy. Seokmin had settled at an awkward mix of somewhat flirtatious and somewhat uncomfortable behavior, solely because he didn't care to mess around until he figured out the ratio of charm to bubbliness that Jisoo preferred. (The fact that Jisoo was snarky and generally condescending to him, even though Seokmin knew for a fact that he wasn't like that to everyone else, did  not come into play at all.)

The other thing about Hong Jisoo was that he was like – he was like bioluminescent waves or earthquake lights or something equally as mystifying and beautiful that mere mortals could only admire and never understand. That was Hong Jisoo: an incomprehensible work of art that breathed sarcasm and looked like an oil painting from every angle imaginable. Seokmin had long since given up on understanding him. Or he understood why Seokmin adored him so much.

"So I'm dating Jisoo-hyung now," Seokmin announced and waited for Wonwoo to choke.

Disappointingly, he chewed and swallowed calmly before he said, "Congratulations," and bit into his crepe once more. Seokmin vindictively failed to inform him of the dab of whipped cream on his upper lip, instead of glaring down at his chocolate parfait and making an incoherent noise as he stabbed his spoon into a lump of melting ice cream.

"Can't you act a little surprised?" he snapped, a little waspishly. He knew he shouldn't have agreed to go out with Wonwoo if he didn't even respond adequately to his grand reveals. He would've accepted a fake gasp, even.

Wonwoo delicately wiped his mouth and set down the remains of his crepe. "I've watched you dance around him for the past four years, Seok. Right now, I'm feeling the opposite of surprised. As in, like, completely and utterly unsurprised."

"Yes, brilliant wordplay," Seokmin grumbled, dropping his head on the table. "I seriously don't understand how you can say that I've been – I've been dancing around him or whatever. If I've been doing anything around him, I've been marching. Coldly. Emotionlessly. Like – like a toy soldier. One of those low-quality plastic wind-up ones." He wrinkled his nose. That metaphor may have gotten slightly off track.

"Sure," Wonwoo agreed, sounding unconvinced. "But I know pigtail pulling when I see it, Seok."

"Pigtail – there is no pigtail pulling. Jisoo-hyung doesn't even have pigtails," Seokmin immediately denied, throwing his hands in the air and nearly smacking a passing waitress in the stomach as he did. And he wasn't wrong, because no, Jisoo didn't have pigtails. He had soft, blonde hair that he kept bleached to maintain an appearance of neatness. It annoyed Seokmin a little because he had the kind of hair that would be best with a little length, something to pull on and run your fingers through –

"Now, Seok," Wonwoo began in his “I was there for your _"oh my God I like men"_ revelation and I have no desire to revisit it” voice, and Seokmin waved him off. That hadn't been his point.

"Anyway, I was lying when I said we were dating now," he informed him, mostly to change the topic. He was only mildly successful because Wonwoo just narrowed his eyes at him and adopted a suspicious, unimpressed expression.

"What are you talking about?"

"Jisoo-hyung’s mom is visiting, and apparently, she's really persistent about him having a girlfriend." He shrugged.

"Boyfriend. Significant other. Whatever. So hyung picked me to live with him and pretend to be his boyfriend while she visits so that she doesn't bother him about it. Apparently, she signed him up for a dating site and currently has three hundred possible matches for him." Seokmin paused when he realized that Wonwoo was smirking in an annoying you're so adorable and idiotic way that he must've contracted from prolonged exposure to Mingyu. "What?"

"Nothing," Wonwoo replied in a voice that strongly implied it was something. He propped his face up in one hand, humming around his smile. "I just think it's cute how you call him by his first name. It's almost like you two are actually really close and secretly pining after each other."

Seokmin threw his spoon at him. Wonwoo caught it without blinking because he was an android sent to humiliate him for the universe's enjoyment.

"Anyway," Seokmin grumbled, "it's not as if Jisoo-hyung _would ever_ look twice at me."

There was a very weighty silence. Seokmin looked up to see Wonwoo gaping at him.

"Are you kidding me," he blurted out. "Seok, he's looked at you, like, eighty million times. He's always looking at you. Are you blind?"

"That was uncalled for," Seokmin sniffed when he couldn't think of a response. Because really, all he could do was deny it vehemently, because someone like Hong Jisoo doesn’t pay attention to guys like Seokmin; he paid attention to pretty boys like Yoon Jeonghan and that one suspiciously friendly police inspector who perpetually looked like a Hugo Boss advert come to  life. Seokmin kind of hated that guy.

Wonwoo scoffed derisively and picked up his crepe. "Yeah. I didn't mean to insult blind people so badly."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seokmin had been inside the Hong mansion many times, several instances without Jisoo's knowledge via Jisoo's bedroom window (which wasn't as creepy as it sounded; he'd been dropping off jewels that didn't pass the moonlight test and the occasional heist note, _not_ sniffing Jisoo's pillows or whatever it was stalkers supposedly did). He'd never been all that daunted by its three floors and general ostentatiousness. But now that he was standing in the foyer, duffel bag slung over one shoulder and Jisoo robotically getting him a pair of guest slippers, he could admit to feeling slightly… _intimidated._

"Here," Jisoo muttered, and Seokmin looked down just in time to see Jisoo shove a pair of slippers with – surprise, surprise – plushy magnifying glasses attached to the tops at him. Seokmin wordlessly dropped his bag, shucked his sneakers, and slid them on. They were surprisingly comfortable. By the time he looked up, Jisoo was already halfway up the stairs, Seokmin's bag hanging effortlessly from his arm. Let it never be said that Jisooi wasn't a g entleman.

They encountered their first problem when Seokmin followed Jisoo into the other’s bedroom.

"Wait, hang on," Seokmin said the second he realized that he was standing in a room with pale blue walls and a bookshelf full of paperback mysteries, not a dusty guest room with stale sheets. "This is _your_ room."

Jisoo looked at him blankly, as if he'd just announced that the earth revolved around the sun. "Brilliant observation," he remarked and then dropped Seokmin's duffel in the middle of the threadbare rug beside the bed.

"Why are you putting my stuff in your room, hyung?" Seokmin asked when Jisoo didn't seem to understand what the problem was. His chest did something alarming and stuttery in his chest at the prospect of staying here, surrounded by the scent of Jisoo's oddly floral (jasmine, possibly sweet pea) cologne and his plain blue comforter set.

"Because we're supposed to be a couple," Jisoo responded, unzipping Seokmin's bag and pulling out one of the shirts Seokmin had packed to drape it on a hanger and hang it up beside one of Jisoo's pea coats in the closet. Seokmin was too busy gawking to stop him and/or yell at him for the blatant invasion of his privacy. "And we're living together. Why would we sleep separately?"

"Oh my God," Seokmin managed when he managed to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. "Can't we be one of those couples that sleep separately and only hold hands because we're saving ourselves for marriage?"

"My mom doesn't believe in that kind of thinking. Apparently, physical attraction is _extremely_ important in a relationship." Jisoo's face did something twisted and sour around "physical attraction." "She probably even expects that we bathe together." He unfolded one of Seokmin's sweaters and stuck it beside the t-shirt. There was something a little panicked in his eyes when he turned to look at Seokmin. "She'll know we're faking it if we don't share a room. So that's  why you have to sleep with me."

_ Are you aware of what you just said to m _ e _?_ Seokmin really wanted to shout at Jisoo, a sentiment shared by his cheeks, which felt as if they'd gone several degrees hotter in their mission to inform Jisoo of Seokmin's horror. Out loud, all he said was, "How observant is your mom?"

"Pretty observant," Jisoo agreed and then shuddered. "But not as observant as my dad." He suddenly looked a little nauseated. There was a distinctly haunted glaze to his eyes when he peered over at Seokmin. "Once, in second grade, I didn't wash my hands before I touched his first-edition copy of A Study in Scarlet, and he knew. He knew."

His right eye twitched.

And Seokmin had to pity him a little. With parents like that, it was a miracle Jisoo hadn't turned out worse.

Throughout the course of the next few days, Seokmin learned approximately four new things about Jisoo.

1) Jisoo owned and wore a pair of sweatpants with holes in the knees and OSAKA emblazoned across the ass. When questioned, he replied that they had been a gift from Soonyoung, who Seokmin was beginning to think, took an unholy kind of glee in giving Jisoo excessively hideous articles of clothing.

2) Jisoo liked to hum to himself when he forgot that Seokmin was around. Not that Seokmin knew what he was humming, because, for whatever reason, Jisoo couldn't hum in tune and sounded mostly like a woodland animal slowly sputtering to death, but it was a little startling to shuffle awkwardly into the living room and find Jisoo butchering what was apparently supposed to be "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

3) Jisoo used satsuma body wash and unscented shampoo. Seokmin discovered this first by reading the labels of the bottles in his shower, and then when Jisoo slouched down onto the couch beside him smelling sweet and citrusy, hair damp where it stuck to his neck and skin pink when he leaned across Seokmin to grab the TV remote and change the channel to something boring and mystery-related.

4) Jisoo stayed up late flipping through case files. Half-past-two-in-the-morning late.

Which was Seokmin's current problem. He was lying immobile on the right side of Jisoo's bed, trying to sleep and block the light from the lamp on Jisoo's bedside table by contorting his arms into varying positions over his eyes. Needless to say, it wasn't working, and his elbows were starting to ache from the strain, so Seokmin let his arms flop to his sides, scowling at the ceiling. Oblivious, Jisoo made a thoughtful noise, his pen scratching against the paper as he circled something that was probably gruesome and bloody, and Seokmin sighed with frustration.

"Why don't you go to sleep, hyung?" he demanded when he couldn't stand it anymore. Seokmin had his share of long nights, but this was ridiculous. There was literally no reason for Jisoo to stay up – he could just as well work in the morning.

"The stack of corpses isn't going to disappear overnight."

"Right," Jisoo agreed absently, in a way that meant he wasn't paying Seokmin any attention before he wrote something in the margin of a page (Seokmin caught the words width of axe blade and spinal cord and decided _he didn't want to know_ ).

Groaning, Seokmin rolled over and grabbed at the manila folder lying across Jisoo's thighs, intending to throw it across the room or set it on fire or something. Unfortunately, Jisoo anticipated him, lifted the papers out of the way, and Seokmin overshot, ending up with his head in Jisoo's lap. Jisoo lifted his eyebrows down at him, his mouth doing something twitchy that meant he was holding back a smirk.

"If you wanted to cuddle, you could've just said something," he said in a voice colored an amused pink. Seokmin tried to bite him as he dropped a hand down onto Seokmin's head and laced his fingers through his hair. Jisoo paid him no mind. The pads of his fingers rubbed into Seokmin's scalp, firm but somehow still gentle, and Seokmin let out an inadvertent noise because of course Hong Jisoo had the hands of a professional masseur.

Jisoo smiled down at him, but this time, there wasn't a trace of derision or mockery. He dug his thumb in behind Seokmin's ear, and Seokmin breathed out, eyes closing. Jisoo still smelled like citrus and warmth all around him, and it was frightfully easy to slip into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seokmin slept better than he had in months. When he woke up, sleepy-eyed and squinting, Jisoo was gone, but the mattress was still warm on his side of the bed. Seokmin had the lurking suspicion that Jisoo had kept his head in his lap for the whole night, but he had no way of proving that, and it sounded a little too close to a fantasy he'd once had of them spending a summery Saturday lying together on a meadow.

The first thing Jisoo said when Seokmin plodded into the kitchen was, "Do you want a pet name?"

"What?" Seokmin replied automatically before he happened to look a little closer at Jisoo and realize he'd already changed (which meant Jisoo must have spent at least a minute being naked in the same room as him, and Seokmin was suddenly _annoyed_ that he hadn't woken up in time to witness it). He was wearing a pair of jeans that looked as if they would've fit reasonably on a Jisoo several inches shorter and narrower, which meant that on the current model, they molded obscenely to his hips and did something to his thighs that made Seokmin's throat _dry up_. Seokmin sort of felt as if he should've inputted his credit card information on a sketchy website somewhere before being able to witness this.

"What do you mean, ' _do you want a pet name_ '?" he mumbled when he managed to convince himself he hadn't just ogled at a Hong Jisoo in his kitchen at some ungodly hour in the morning.

"Like, do you want me to call you by a pet name?" Jisooi refilled the coffee mug that Seokmin only realized just now was sitting beside his elbow. "For example, 'sugar' or 'sweet pea' or 'beautiful.'" His eyelashes were a dark swipe of glossy paint across his cheekbones.

Seokmin experienced a moment of unprecedented longing – imagine falling asleep with your head in Hong Jisoo's lap as he called you beautiful and touched your hair – before he shook his head. "No thanks. None of those sound natural coming from you."

One corner of Jisoo’s mouth tugged upwards before he hid it with the rim of his mug. "In that case, could I interest you in 'babycakes' or 'snuggle bunny'?"

"Oh my God," Seokmin managed around his slack jaw. "Hong Jisoo, notorious stick-up-his-ass Hong Jisoo, actually said 'snuggle bunny' with a straight face. This is a momentous occasion. Let today be declared a national holiday."

"We should call it National Snuggle a Bunny Day then," Jisoo agreed, and yes, that was a _definite_ smile as Seokmin giggled at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jisoo’s mom arrived alone and laden with an entire Louis Vuitton luggage set around noon. She was devastatingly pretty, as creepy as that probably sounded coming from the person who was fake-dating her son, but she was also vaguely terrifying in the way most of the female people in Jisoo's life were.

"Shua!" she crowed the second the taxi pulled away from the curb, somehow managing to run up the driveway in six-inch stilettos and a pencil skirt while carrying no less than four different pieces of baggage. Jisoo, who was standing half-hidden behind the front door, managed to shoot an apprehensive look over his shoulder at Seokmin before his mom engulfed him in a hug that resembled some kind of wrestling technique more than an expression of familial love.

Once she had finished crushing the life out of his son, she turned on Seokmin. "Seokkie!" she shrieked, and then it was Seokmin's turn to feel his bones grinding together in her Chanel-perfumed embrace.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hong," Seokmin wheezed once he had politely extricated himself from her grasp. Trying to discern whether his lungs were still functioning, he offered her a rose, which seemed to delight her, as she laughed musically and took it from him, tucking it into the buttonhole on her lapel.

"It's so good to see you again, Seokkie. I was so excited when Shua told me that the secret lover he's had for so long was you," she gushed as she toed off her shoes. Jisoo moved to get her a pair of slippers. "I don't know if you remember, but I used to be a student of your father's. We've met before – I think you were about six or seven. But you were the cutest little thing back then, you know."

"Oh," Seokmin said, not entirely sure how to respond to that, and Jisoo’s mom giggled and patted him on the arm. Her hand lingered, and she seemed to squeeze his arm a little as if trying to feel up his bicep. Jisoo cleared his throat warningly. His mom ignored him.

"You gave me a flower then, too. You were so sweet to me. And look! You're still such a gentleman," she cooed, and Seokmin got the uncomfortable feeling that she was about to pinch his cheek. He gave Jisoo a slight panicked  _ what am I supposed to do _ .

"Mom," Jisoo announced at a louder volume than strictly necessary, shouldering between them gracelessly. "Do you need help settling in? I can carry your bags if you want."

His mom blinked at him before she chuckled, waving him off. "Oh, Shua, don't underestimate me. I can carry my own bags up a few flights of stairs. You just spend some time with _your_ man." There was something gleamy and dangerous in her eyes that set off warning alarms in Seokmin's head as she bent to unzip the top of one of her suitcases.

She emerged with a nondescript paper bag, which she thrust at Jisoo. "Here, I got you these in the States. I think you two can get some good use out of them." 

Jisoo peered down into the bag. His face did something complicated that involved a lot of painful-looking muscle spasms before he went red, color spilling down his neck and disappearing beneath the neckline of his shirt. It was a frightfully good look on him.

"Enjoy!" His mom trilled before effortlessly hefting the army of luggage pieces into her arms and scaling the stairs two at a time. Seokmin watched, partly in awe and partly in horror.

He glanced over at Jisoo to find him resolutely folding the top of the bag shut. It wasn't working that well because Jisoo's hands were shaking a little too much to be effective. Seokmin squinted at him – something that rattled Jisoo that badly had to be, like, a severed head or something. Jisoo was basically unsettleable. Seokmin had seen him dismantle a bomb without breaking a sweat.

"What's in the bag?" he asked, curiosity bubbling over.

Wordlessly, Jisoo handed it to him. Seokmin pulled the paper open to find an electric blue vibrator, a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and a bottle of flavored lube staring up at him. The label on the bottle advertised a "silky smooth finish, in more ways than one" and was apparently "cherry-flavored, for all your cherry-popping needs."

He immediately closed the bag again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So tell me about you and Shua, Seokkie," Jisoo’s mom, Jihyun, insisted, smiling cheerfully at Seokmin over her salad. They were at a restaurant that required a shirt and tie and employed car valets with distinguished mustaches because Jihyun demanded class in everything she did. 

She was resplendent in her satin cocktail dress, but Seokmin kept catching himself staring at Jisoo, and the way the blazer he was wearing turned the cut of his waist into a thing of beauty. 

Or, well, a thing of even greater beauty than usual.

"Uh…" Seokmin shot Jisoo a look – who responded with wide-eyed shrugging – before he set down his fork, mostly to buy a few seconds of thinking time. "Well, Jisoo-hyung and I met at an… event, under some… unusual circumstances," he began delicately, and Jihyun covered her mouth as she laughed. Her nails were painted bright red, with pearly little camellias on the thumbnails.

"You met at a heist while he was still shrunken, didn't you?"

Seokmin choked. Jisoo patted him on the back as he bent over, hacking. Their waiter, a dapper thirty-something in a waistcoat and brogues, strode towards them with a concerned frown, and Jihyun waved him off before she leaned forward to beam at him.

"I knew your father was the first DK, and since he's gone, it's only natural to assume that you're the new DK. And, of course, I know about my own son's little incident. It's not hard to put two and two together," she sing-songed, and Seokmin was torn between glaring at her and abandoning his pride to run for his life because clearly, she was terrifying, and Jisoo's weird twitchiness was a lot more understandable now.  _ (Note: If you know Kaito Kid, then you should know what I’m talking about here. And I made it DK, which I made as an acronym for Dazzling Kid instead of Kaito Kid since it fits Seokmin’s stage name ~^-^~) _

"I…" he tried, wheezing faintly before he found that he couldn't think of anything to say. Jisoo gave him one last rub on the shoulder before he straightened to look at his mother.

"Cut it out, Mom. You're going to scare him off," he told her, scowling. Jihyun only laughed, though, and neatly speared a cherry tomato with her fork.

"Oh, please, Shua. As if Seokkie could be so easily scared off if he's as in love with you as you are with him."

She grinned at Seokmin, who was massaging his throat and trying to regain control of his lungs.

"He's quite enamored of you, Seokkie. And I've decided that an autumn wedding might be nice, so you two can spend the holidays together."

Her smile was mildly lecherous as she spread her hands. "Shua usually takes a week off for Christmas, you know. Imagine all the use you could get out of my presents in a week." Seokmin choked again.

"Mom," Jisoo said in a horrified, scandalized tone that gave the impression that he'd be clutching his pearls if he was wearing any. He absently began stroking Seokmin's back again. S eokmin almost whimpered. "Cut it out."

"But I haven't even brought out the baby photos!" Jihyun cackled, hand going for her clutch, and Jisoo's free hand tightened around his steak knife as if he were actually considering throwing it at her. Seokmin resisted the urge to rub at his temples.

"Mom," Jisoo hissed, slightly hysterical, and Jihyun sighed, setting her bag down with a pout.

"You're no fun, Shua."

Thankfully, the second course arrived at that point. There was a moment of silence as the three of them rummaged around for spoons and juggled plates.

"What's the most romantic thing you two have done?" Jihyun finally asked, stirring her French onion soup with delicate twirls of her narrowed, braceleted wrist. When Jisoo and Seokmin only blinked at her, she sighed. "What kind of dates do you go on? What grand gestures have you done for each other? How do you show your affection?"

"I once put on a fireworks show on Jisoo-hyung’s birthday," Seokmin offered when the silence had gone on for too long. He shifted uncomfortably, coughing into a fist. "I mean, it was a coincidence because I didn't know it was his birthday, but that… happened."

Jihyun was giving him an appraising, mildly unimpressed look. Jisoo had shut his eyes, presumably to pray for patience.

"Here," he sighed, once he'd opened his eyes and dug his phone out of his pocket. "We went to The Carnival together a few weeks ago on a double date with Soonyoung and Jihoon." Seokmin admired the way he barely stuttered over "double date."

"I have pictures." He fiddled with the screen for a moment before handing it to his mother.

Seokmin craned his neck to get a better look at it – he caught a flash of color and remembered how he'd bought a bright blue touristy t-shirt for Jisoo after they'd gotten soaked on a boat ride. Jisoo had glared at him but grudgingly put it on, and it had been a size too big and showed eighty percent of his collarbones. Seokmin had been forced to spend a few minutes in the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water. Thinking back, he realized that he might have cause for worry because he was basically a Victorian husband panting after a flash of Jisoo's ankles.

"Aw," Jihyun cooed, pulling Seokmin out of his thoughts. She balanced her face in one hand as she scrolled through Jisoo's photos. "These are adorable." When she noticed Seokmin staring at her, she tilted the phone towards him.

Jisoo looked distinctly uncomfortable as she insisted, "Look at how you look at each other, Seokkie! You can see the love in your eyes."

Seokmin stared at the photo. It had been taken after the boat ride incident, so Jisoo was wearing a shirt with "THE CARNIVAL!" and a poorly designed log flume emblazoned across the chest, somehow still looking attractive and unattainable. They were standing in line outside the Mystery Coaster. Neither of them was looking at the camera, which meant Soonyoung had probably stolen Jisoo's phone to take it, and it looked as if they were in the middle of a  conversation. Seokmin's left hand was a blur as he gestured, and Jisoo's mouth was partway open as he replied.

It didn't seem like a very _noteworthy_ photo, in Seokmin's opinion. He was looking at Jisoo the way he always did, a little admiring and a lot wistful. And Jisoo didn't seem to be doing anything out of the ordinary – he had on the perpetual half-smirk he always seemed to have around Seokmin, and his eyes were bright and beautiful. Seokmin frowned.

"Mom," Jisoo muttered, taking his phone away from his mother. His cheeks were flushed, or maybe it was just the rosy mood lighting. Seokmin couldn't tell, even when he squinted at him. "You're making him uncomfortable."

"No, I'm not," Jihyun laughed, patting Seokmin on the arm. "Seokkie looks at you as if you're his entire universe, Shua. I don't think I could embarrass him that easily."

_ Think again _ , Seokmin thought as he went bright red and shoveled soup into his mouth. Of course, because Seokmin had apparently used up his allotment of luck, he ended up burning the inside of his mouth and was forced to eat ice cubes between courses for the rest of the meal. Jisoo kept making concerned noises and giving him worried looks over his beef bourguignon. On the other side of the table, Jihyun looked beautiful and smug as she ate her coq au vin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't take it the wrong way," Jisoo told him as they were getting into bed that night. Seokmin, who was already lying down, gave him a bewildered look, rolling onto his side to face him. Jihyun had gone to bed an hour or so ago, and it was unlikely that she was still pressing a cup against their shared wall (or so Jisoo said. Seokmin wasn't one hundred percent sure he was joking, but he was eighty percent sure he didn't want to know for certain).

"My mom talks a lot of shit. All that stuff about the 'love in our eyes' or whatever – she just sees what she wants to see," Jisoo clarified, eyes fixed on the far wall. There was a hint of pink crawling out from underneath his shirt.

_ Oh _ , thought Seokmin, and winced internally as his heart sank like a cinder block in a swimming pool. Well, yeah, he'd always known that regardless of the torch (more like a bonfire) he carried for his Jisoo-hyung, he would probably never think of him as anything more than an annoying _friend_. He didn't appreciate the reminder, though.

Oblivious, Jisoo continued, fiddling with the drawstring on his sweatpants, "And, y'know, she just wants me to be happy, and I guess she wants to believe that you'll do that for me. So. I guess. Good job of pretending." He patted Seokmin awkwardly on the shoulder in the same tentative, overcautious way people touched crocodiles at petting zoos before he turned the lights off and turned his back on Seokmin.

Seokmin stared at the back of his head in the dim lighting for far too long before he fell asleep.

The sound of a camera shutter clicking was what woke Seokmin, pulling him out of a dream about owning a blue stucco house and three dogs with Jisoo. Squinting, Seokmin forced his eyes open, only to find Mrs. Hong, looking far too awake for – whatever time it was, standing over the bed with her cell phone in hand.

"What are you doing?" Seokmin asked. Or, at least, he _tried_ to, but to his confusion, it came out more like, "Whayadon."

Mostly because his mouth was pressed against something warm and soft that moved a little when he breathed out…?

Belatedly, Seokmin realized that he was huddled up against Jisoo's back, mouth pressed against the warm space between Jisoo's neck and shoulder, his arms wrapped around Jisoo's chest and their legs a messed tangle beneath the rumpled sheets. One of Jisoo's hands was clasped around Seokmin's forearm.

Jihyun giggled and ran from the room, hair swishing behind her and leaving the scent of Chanel in her wake.

"Jisoo-hyung," Seokmin said lowly, "we may have a problem." He spoke loud and close enough to the other’s ear that Jisoo was sure to wake up, and he fully expected an elbow to the sternum before Jisoo flounced off to the bathroom to wash Seokmin's essence off himself.

_Instead_ , Jisoo murmured something unintelligible and pulled Seokmin's arms tighter around him. 

"S'fine," he insisted when Seokmin twitched and fell asleep again within seconds.

Seokmin laid there and squashed the growing desire to cry with confusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't stay in with you two," Jihyun sighed apologetically as she adjusted the strap of her bag over her shoulder. She was wearing a sleek silvery dress that made her look a bit like a chandelier, or maybe it was the diamond drop jewelry set she was wearing. "I promised my friend we'd have a day out. I think she needs to vent about her husband to someone, and I bet their daughter is tired of hearing about it all the time."

"That's okay, Mrs.Hong," Seokmin assured her, pasting on a smile when she beamed at him.

Jisoo, sitting on the stairs in a pair of ripped jeans, a Seoul University sweatshirt, and an incredibly messy bedhead, looked unimpressed. "You just want a reason to get your hair done and complain about whatever nonexistent affair Dad's had to someone who's willing to listen."

"Guilty as charged!" Jihyun sang, throwing open the front door. She tossed one last grin at them over her shoulder.

"Make sure you re-christen every room before I get back! I have extra lube in the bottom pouch of my duffel bag if you run out."

"Are you aware of how inappropriate it is to say that to your son?" Jisoo shouted after her. Predictably, Jihyun didn't respond, slamming the door shut instead.

For a moment, neither of them said anything, and then Jisoo turned to Seokmin, pushing back a handful of his hair. There was a pink tinge to his face, but Seokmin wasn't sure if he was imagining it or _not_.

"How about we watch Debate Night?" he asked, and of course, that warranted a forty-minute "discussion" (also known as "thinly veiled argument") about whether the detective/police was better than the new show about a mafia spy who had been based on DK. Jisoo rolled his eyes, but Seokmin had seen his recordings the other day, and there was far too much The Spy of the Mafia saved on it for someone who allegedly despised the show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up making Kimchi stew (Seokmin made it; Jisoo fluttered about, being pouty and pretty and mostly useless) and eating it while watching a Debate Night marathon. Jisoo acted as if that was a grand victory for him. Seokmin didn't tell him that watching a TV show was the least Jisoo would do for him.

Seokmin woke up on the couch to the sound of tiny on-screen gunfire. The room was dark save for the glow off the TV screen, where the latest episode of Seventeen Survival was playing. Jisoo was half-sprawled across his lap, a heavy, catlike weight, and Seokmin had buried his hands in Jisoo's hair sometime between episodes five and six.

His hair was soft and fluffy and stuck up at odd angles when Seokmin tugged his fingers free.

There was a sound from the doorway, and Seokmin glanced up just in time to catch Jihyun watching them with a fond expression on her face, apparently back from her day out. For the first time, she didn't look amused or smug; she looked content and pleased, arms crossed over her chest and face relaxed.

"I didn't mean to wake you," she murmured, just loud enough for Seokmin to hear. He shrugged, careful not to jostle Jisoo unduly.

"That's all right." He looked down just in time to realize he'd started stroking the side of Jisoo's face, the slope of his cheek, and the hinge of his jaw. Jisoo was possibly even more beautiful when he was asleep – his face went relaxed and comfortable, and his body was a sinuous curl of muscle and warmth, long and lean and lovely. He looked like something Seokmin could imagine trying to paint, to memorize or celebrate or admire in some way.

"You know," Jihyun said after a long moment, sounding contemplative enough that Seokmin glanced up at her, "I'm glad that it was you, Seokkie."

"Huh?" Seokmin blinked at her. "What do you mean, you're glad it was me?"

"I mean exactly that," Jihyun replied, leaning against the doorframe. The faint light from the TV gave her an ethereal look, bathing her in a slightly silver glow. "I used to think that he would end up with Jeonghan, you know. And then, after they didn't work out, I was expecting that he might try to date Soonyoung. They have similar interests, you know. And I think Soonyoung really cares about Shua. When they didn't happen, I thought he'd never find anyone. I started worrying. I signed him up for some dating sites." She shrugged a little. Her hair was dark and inky, caught in the shadows behind her. "But then he told me he was dating you, and you don't know how relieved I was. Shua has always thought that he doesn't _deserve_ the things he wants – did you know why he broke up with Jeonghan? Its because he felt guilty about lying to him for so long? Even though he was prepared to forgive him?"

"I…" Seokmin swallowed. He looked down at Jisoo's face instead. His gaze lingered along the soft column of Jisoo's neck. He bet that if he touched the space right below the other’s ear and concentrated, he could feel the beat of his pulse, a steady, quiet reassurance against the tips of his fingers. "I didn't know that."

"Shua always admired you, you know," Jihyun remarked. When Seokmin managed to tear his eyes away from Jisoo to look at her, he found that she wasn't smiling anymore; she was regarding him with an unreadable expression. "Whenever I called, even when he was still shrunken, he'd talk about how infuriating DK was. He always sounded so frustrated. Do you know how many things make a Hong Jisoo feel that strongly? There isn't an abundance of  things he truly, absolutely cares for. But the things that do – he chases after them." She shut her eyes.

"And when he got his body back, it didn't stop. He talked about you, Seokkie. About how brilliant he thought you were and how much he _wanted_ you to care about him. Not in those exact words, of course, but it's always been clear that he's always wanted you in some way."

Something caught in Seokmin's throat, something sticky and painful. He didn't know how he was supposed to respond to that.

"So I was relieved when Shua told me you two were dating. It may just be because I'm his mother, but I think he deserves to be happy. After all, he's been through. And I know that you can make him happy." Jihyun opened her eyes and gave him a half-smile. "This is the part where I'm supposed to warn you off breaking Shua's heart, but I won't because I won't blame you if you two end up not making it. I just _hope_ you do. And anyway, if the way you look at him is any indication,” Jihyun grinned with a hint of her previous cheer, "it's not as if you'll  be getting out unscathed, considering how much you care about him."

She turned and left, closing the door softly behind her. Seokmin sat in silence for a long time, even after the last episode played, and he was left in darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jihyun left the next morning.

"I'm so sorry I had to cut my trip short," she apologized, patting Jisoo condescendingly on the head while Seokmin made an expression reminiscent of someone who had swallowed caustic acid. "My husband wants me to meet up with him for the European leg of his press tour. Paris is going to be beautiful at this time of the year." She sighed and picked up her small family of bags with apparently no effort. Seokmin eyed her narrow stick arms, wondering how she did it with no muscle mass.

"When do you think you'll visit again?" Jisoo asked, watching her open the front door without setting down a single embossed suitcase. His hair was doing something spiky, and he was rubbing his neck, probably since he'd spent the night with his head in Seokmin's lap until the younger had carried him back to his room around four in the morning.

"Who knows," Jihyun sang, already halfway out the door. She turned to throw them both the last smile. "Bye, Shua! And I'll see you next time, Seokkie." Her gaze lingered on him for a second, and Seokmin managed a short nod in her direction.

"See you next time, Ma’am," he called after her, and she smiled and started down the driveway.

Jisoo closed the door once she had wrangled her luggage into the cab that was waiting for her. 

He yawned, brushing past Seokmin on his way to the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast? I think I can make eggs."

"You mean you can burn eggs," Seokmin replied on autopilot as he trailed after him.

"I resent that." Jisoo pulled open the refrigerator, rummaging around for a second before he pulled out a carton of eggs. He bumped the door shut with his hip and started searching for a frying pan, humming a thoroughly slaughtered version of Run to You under his breath. It was just so – so normal, and Seokmin –

"Are you secretly in love with me, hyung?" he blurted out. Jisoo promptly dropped the eggs. Bits of shell and yolk went flying everywhere, soaking the toe of Seokmin's left slipper.

"What the hell," Jisoo said. Squawked. Squeaked? Seokmin wasn't sure which described the half incredulous, half horrified sound that exited Jisoo's mouth most accurately.

"Your mom, she, uh," he stammered when Jisoo didn't appear to be prepared to say/squawk/squeak anything else. Jisoo ogled at him. "She said that you've been telling her about how – about me for a really long time. That you've admired me." Seokmin coughed. "That you, uh, care about me."

Jisoo made a sound like a dying car engine.

"I…" Seokmin frowned. "What does that mean?"

Groaning, Jisoo dropped his face in his hands. For a horrible moment, Seokmin felt sure he was going to start crying, which Seokmin was definitely not mentally equipped to face. "It means that I never should've told her I was dating you and that I hate myself."

"Wh – don't hate yourself, hyung," Seokmin gasped, horrified at the thought. "Hyung, what are you talking about?"

"I should've just agreed to meet all the people she found for me. Even if most of them haven't heard of BBC Sherlock and don't care about the Seoul Wrestling Club," Jisoo mumbled, apparently out of nowhere. "This was such a bad idea. I should've just gotten someone off the street to do it. I should've asked Inspector Chwe."

"No, you shouldn't have," Seokmin insisted because he drew the line at imagining his Jisoo-hyung asking Inspector Chwe to see him like this, in a beat-up sweatshirt and a pair of too-small track pants and looking unaccountably beautiful with egg whites splattered across his slippers. He reached out to touch Jisoo's arm, gratified when the other didn't flinch away. "And anyway, why are you acting like it was such a bad idea for me to be your…" He couldn't finish the thought. He couldn't say, fake boyfriend.

"Because," Jisoo muttered, tilting his face up to look at Seokmin with quietly wistful eyes, "I should've realized that you were going to find out how I felt about you. I should've expected this." He sighed, looking down as he toed at a stray bit of eggshell. "But then again, I don't think I could've asked anyone else without her figuring it out. I made it too clear to my mom that I was – that I – that you were the only one I was thinking about."

"Jisoo, look at me."

"I know you don't care about me like that," Jisoo said, closing his eyes. "And I know you just think I'm – I'm arrogant and boring and cold, but I… I'm sorry, and I don't want to stop being friends, so maybe we could –"

"Jisoo, look at me," Seokmin insisted, and Jisoo jerked his head up just in time to see the other smile – feel Seokmin's hands grip the sides of his face, notice the affection in Seokmin's eyes – before he kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Jisoo was waist-deep in a case, mentally calculating the amount of strength required to hang a heavyset male body from a chandelier when a pair of hands covered his eyes and a voice beside his ear sang, "Happy National Snuggle a Bunny Day, Jisoo."

"You really need to stop calling our anniversary that, Kyeom," Jisoo sighed as he reached up to remove the hands.

He left his fingers to linger, though, holding onto Seokmin's hand as he swiveled around to look him in the face. "It's been, what, three years, and you're still…" He went silent the second he saw what the younger was wearing.

Seokmin just grinned and did a little twirl. "What do you think?"

"Uh." Jisoo stared fixedly at the bright pink t-shirt he was wearing, which said **'I LOVE DETECTIVE HONG JISOO'** across the chest in puffy writing and generally involved far too many hearts. "Is this – where did you get that?"

"Soonyoung," Seokmin replied, smiling with far too much smugness. "Although they do sell them on the internet now. They started making them after your 'I LOVE DK' incident." Jisoo winced, remembering the barrage of questions he'd gotten from friends and media outlets alike after he'd worn that shirt in public. There were fan pages dedicated to it.

Seokmin had gleefully shown them to him on their last anniversary.

"Well, take it off," Jisoo told the younger, ignoring him when he beamed, "Oh, my darling Jisoo. If you wanted a striptease, you could've just said so." 

"My mom's supposed to be here in ten minutes, and that shirt is an abomination."

"I think I'll keep it on," Seokmin hummed, bending to wrap his arms around Jisoo's neck. He smelled vaguely sweet, a little like cinnamon, and his eyes were clear and mischievous. "When I told her that I got it, she said she'd bring us extra strawberry lube."

Jisoo smacked him on the side. "I hate both of you."

"No, you don't," Seokmin murmured against his mouth, and Jisoo gave a sigh of longsuffering and kissed him back.

Seokmin was right, though. He didn't.


End file.
